Scarra: Hey what’s up guys, I’m proud to present our new series, Offline Odyssey. This is our brand new D&D series and I’m very happy to be here. Woo! Poki: I don’t know what I’m doing. [Laughter] Fed: Same! [Laughter] Josh: We don’t even know your character yet! Poki: Sorry XD Josh: so yeah D&D is sort of like the grandfather of all RPGs. it’s like before there was video games there was pen and paper RPGs and that’s what D&D is. and so basically, instead of having a computer do all the calculation for how much damage you do, if you hit or whatnot, instead it’s gonna be me – the Dungeon Master (DM). Poki: And our brains.Scarra: His brains. Josh: My-my brain…mostly. Poki: OUR brains! [Laughter] Josh: uhm, but yeah, I’m excited to get started We’re gonna be playing a campaign known as Lost Mine of Phandelver which is an adventure module that a lot of people say is pretty good. So uhm, I’m excited. Alright so how much D&D have y’all played, ever?I know Poki has not played ever. [Laughter] Poki: We played that one time- that we played for like eight hours and we lost all the footage Lily: We don’t talk about it.Josh: I don’t know what you’re talking about… Poki: That was such a long time ago I forgot about it.Fed: I have no idea what’s going on here! Lily: I’ve played D&D. I think I’ve been in two campaigns. I’m in a campaign right now, it’s really fun.I got more into it the more I played. This is my first time doing it on an actual tabletop setting. So it’s exciting! Scarra: Yeah, I’m the same experience as Poki We had a D&D campaign that we spent six hours on.Someone lost the footage. Lily: Eight hours.Scarra: Eight hours. Scarra: SOMEONE lost the footage!Josh: Was it really eight hours? Poki: Yes! Oh- If not more!Lily: It was eight hours. Mark: We did character creation in that session.Lily: That took a long time… Scarra: It was such a long time and actually I forgot everything about it because I wanted to delete that portion of life from my memory. Josh: Well, it’s okay. Just like you deleted the memory the footage was also deleted, so… Toast: To add to what Scarra just said… [Laughter] Lily: God, Jesus Christ… Toast: I have been in two D&D campaigns, all of which has been with Lily. So we have a great D&D rapport going on. I’m very familiar with all the rules. [Lily coughs] And I’m excited for this campaign. Poki: [Whispers] Is he lying? Lily: No no no, he knows how to- yeah… Josh: Fed, have you played D&D before? Fed: Uh, no. So my name is Fed and I’ve never played D&D in my life. But I’ve had the pleasure of watching some of Lily and Toast play it, so I kind of get the idea, but- Poki: You’ve had the pleasure of watching all of us play.Scarra: Yeah. Fed: Well no, I did’t actually watch you guys play at all. I like…hit the record button and dipped. [Laughter]Scarra: Oh my god! Fed: Anyways, I’m excited to see how this goes. OPENING THEME: Prevail by TJ Brown ♪ There’s something alive, ♪ ♪ Hidden inside ♪ ♪ When will it be realized? ♪
♪ When will it be realized? ♪ ♪ A singular light, ♪ ♪ A whisper of life, ♪ ♪ Calls to you… ♪ [CAST]LILYPICHU as VIVIANA [CAST]SCARRA as THEODORE [CAST]POKIMANE as ALUNAR [CAST]FEDMYSTER as LEVI [CAST]DISGUISEDTOAST as UGG Featuring DUNGEON MASTERJOSH KIM ♪ A new identity awaits ♪ ♪ Someone I cannot explain ♪ ♪ A secret side of me that wants to stay contained ♪ ♪ I feel it in me, I feel it in you ♪ ♪ With every battle we walk through ♪ ♪ The kind of magic only ♪ ♪ The kind of magic only FRIENDSHIP ♪ ♪ The kind of magic only FRIENDSHIP CAN ♪ ♪ The kind of magic only FRIENDSHIP CAN AWA- ♪ ♪ The kind of magic only FRIENDSHIP CAN AWAKEN! ♪ ♪ I will stick by you ♪ ♪ I promise that we’ll never fail! ♪ ♪ We can make it through ♪ ♪ Together we’ll always prevail! ♪ ♪ I will stick by you ♪ ♪ I promise that we’ll never fail! ♪ ♪ We can make it through ♪ ♪ Together we’ll always prevail… ♪ OfflineTV Odyssey Chapter 1: A Fresh Start Josh: Alright! For this campaign, we are in the Forgotten Realms which is kind of like your classic high fantasy thingy and you guys are in the city of Neverwinter which is like a coastal city; very very big, kind of like the Los Angeles of Forgotten Realms. Poki: Is it never winter in Neverwinter? [Lily laughs]Josh: Actually I don’t know. Poki: Come on, serious question!Josh: I don’t know why it’s called that, I actually don’t know the history. Poki: Like, Greenland is not green, and Iceland is not icy! So I need to know about Neverwinter! Mark: I’m pretty sure it’s called Neverwinter ’cause it’s a nice coastal city. Josh: Like LA, right? Neverwinter, yeah, okay. Alright, let our adventure begin. [Dramatically] In the city of Neverwinter, a dwarf named- Toast: Wait- wait…what voice are you doing right now?What’s that? Josh: A dwarf named Gundren Rockseeker asked you to bring a wagonload of provisions to the rough-and-tumble settlements of Phandalin, a couple of days travel Southeast of the city.Fed: [Mouths] What the faa… Gundren was clearly excited and more than a little secretive about his reasons for the trip saying only that he and his brothers had found something big. And that he’d pay you 10 gold pieces each, for escorting his supplies safely to Barthen’s Provisions, a trading post in Phandalin. He then set out ahead of you on horse, along with a warrior escort named Sildar Hallwinter claiming he needed to arrive early to “take care of business.” You spent the last few days following the high road South from Neverwinter and you’ve just recently veered East from along the Triboar Trail. You’ve encountered no trouble so far, but this territory can be dangerous. Bandits and outlaws have been known to lurk along the trail. Dun-dun-dunnnnnnn! You guys are in a wagon on your way down to Phandalin this is a good time to introduce your guys’ characters. Who wants to start?
Who wants to start? Alright!Poki: Ah, Scarra! Toast: Are we doing it in character? Let’s first talk of what our characters are and then, as if you guys are actually in the wagon, introduce yourselves afterward. Scarra: Well, guys, I’m a Hill Dwarf that’s 110 years old and my name is Theodore. I’m a natural-born gambler, and I’ve gambled all my life. But I only believe in honest gambling. I never take from the poor, only people who can afford it. Lily: You’re like Robin Hood! But a gambling addict.Scarra: Yes… [Josh laughing] But a gambling addict! Scarra: Exact-…uuhhhh…Josh: Addictive personality Robin Hood! S…sure! Anyways, I used to be a part of a different city. But during one of my honest gambling sessions, they wrongly accused me…of taking money from the house. And so I had to flee the city, and now I owe a very large debt that I want to pay back. [Unanimous: “Hmmm”] Lily: Well hello, Theodore… [Laughs] Scarra: Is this an AA meeting?! I’m a Wild Sorcerer much like my, you know, nature. I tend to gamble a lot in terms of what effects can come out. [Everyone: “Oooooh”]Josh: Okay. Alright, Lily! I am a High Elf named Viviana. I’m 101 years old, I live up to 750. So I just reached adulthood. I come from a very high background filled with nobility. And all I want in life is for people to like me. [Scarra tries not to laugh]Poki: Awwwww…Lily: Therefore I suffer from- I suffer from a…often times, like very bad insecurity if people don’t like me. I like manipulating people, so on the exteriorI’m very polite and nice but on the inside I’m judging all of you.And I just want to manipulate you guys. But! I’m sure down the line I’ll make some everlasting friendships. I am a Bard, and I am proficient in the lute, violin, and piano 🙂 Poki: I think you forgot some traits or…assets you could say.Lily: Oh, I forgot to mention! I have, uhm, very soft, silky violet hair with matching violet eyes, pale skin, I’m 5’6″, I’m 115 pounds and I have a roughly C-D cup! [Josh laughs] And I want to be known not for…like- just for myself So I look out for myself… Well nice to meet you guys! Which one of your…traits do you want to be known for? Fed: Ahem, okay.Lily: Toast? [Everyone laughing]Josh: Before we get demonetized, uh, Toast! Why don’t you go ahead? Toast: If we weren’t going to get demonetized before… Wait till you hear this![Laughter] Alright, my character’s name is Ugg. Lily: Like…like the Uggs boots??Fed: The shoe? Yes, Ugg! Josh: Spell that out for us…? U-G-G [Breaks into laughter] Scarra: Uhm…Okay! It’s- he’s Ugg, I have 8 intelligence! But I make it up for 16 strength and 16 constitution. So I’m a…Big Boye™. I’m 14 years old. I was abandoned in a swamp by my mother- no,by my father when I came out green. Because my human mother cheated on my human father with an Orc gentleman. And when I came out green my human father was like:
adventures in odyssey And when I came out green my human father was like:
And when I came out green my human father was like: “Wait…something’s wrong here.”Poki: So you’re a bastard Orc baby? Yes, a bastard half-Orc babyLily: Wow. abandoned in a swamp and raised by a magical swamp. [Everyone: “…Wow.”]Lily: Okay. Uhm, I’m very socially inept as I was raised with very little human contact. But one day the local lord confiscated my land- [Everyone laughing] This is all starting to come together.. And uh, I have to earn 1,000 gold pieces. To buy the deed back to my swamp- [Breaks into laughter…again] Lily: Are we gonna get copyright striked for this??Josh: Yo- Yeah wait what is this?? Josh: Disney’s gonna be like “Yo, this is…” Fed: What the fuck is this?! Poki: Familiar story, hmmmmmm Toast: Yep…that’s Ugg… Thank you! Poki: Well, nice to meet ya, Ugg.Scarra: Woah, wait- what is, what is your uh, class? Oh, I’m a, uh, Lawful Good Paladin! So how- how did you become like holy from the swamp? You know, it’s a magical swamp and it speaks to me, like ‘holy-ish-ly’. Like I hear it in my heart. Poki: Awwww…Toast: So I dedicate my life to being like a good natured, you know, aligned Paladin. Josh: I see…okay.Scarra: Okay. Fed: Okay.. cool.Poki: Interesting. Josh: Alright, Fed, what’s your character? Fed: Okay, so uh, okay my name is Levi. I’m a rogue. Lily: Are we, we’re not gonna get copyright- Poki: We actually are at this point…Scarra: We’re 100% going to get demonetized… Josh: Levi, you know…whatever, right?Scarra: Okay Listen I uh, yeah, I’m a- I’m a rogue. Uh I was, I lived in a village and they were- it was attacked and my whole tribe died, as well as my parents. Toast: Wait, attacked by what? Uh, I don’t know, I was a baby… Lily: Was this the Hidden Leaf Village by any chance? [Everyone laughing]Fed: It might- might be. Uhm, I was raised by Elves, uhm and and so I speak.. Elf? And I speak the common.Scarra: Elf? …Huh. Right now, uh, my goal in life is to bring justice to my uh, my tribe. Since I’m the only one alive from it, so- Scarra: That’s a very unique story… I’ve never heard of something like that.Fed: Yeah I uh, I think I stole it from somewhere… Lily: Do you… Do you have like a cloak by any chance? Yeah- yeah, I’m like- I’m wearing a dark cloak! I got this little like…thingy. Lily: Do you have a scar on your face by any chance? Nope, no scar… But I do have this like, black like… Poki: Headband??Toast: What kind of- what kind of weapons do you use? What’s your weapons? Uh, I have two longswords, and I guess this…thingy. And what- what is that? [Unsheathes Wrist Blade][Everyone: “Woahhh”] [Laughter]Josh: Keep that in check. And then I-, then I got my little…you know. That’s Albert’s… [Whispers] Shut the fuck up… [Laughter] Yeah, my little switchblade.
Yeah, my little switchblade. Pretty safe. Lily: Levi…Toast: Levi who? But my guilty pleasures- or not my guilty pleasures, well it’s one of my guilty pleasures, but things I love is stealing treasure or wealth from the rich. Oh wow…Josh: So you guys might- might get along! Lily: Two Robin Hoods!Yeah, we have two Robin Hoods Josh: Robin Hood one, Robin Hood…[Poki and Lily Laughing] Scarra: What?!Lily: [Laughing] Scarra’s face! Toast: Lovable traits…Josh: Yeah. Oh, yeah… Fed: I’m not much of a Gambler.Lily: What’s your alignment? What did you put for it? Fed: Oh I’m uh, Chaotic Good.Lily: You’re both Chaotic Good. Josh: You guys might get along.[Laughter] Poki: So, my name is Alunar, Al for short. Lily: Awwwww…I am a 6’2″, 25 year old. Perfect Tinder bio by the way. Barbarian Dragonborn. [Slurps] Toast: Wait are you a guy or girl? I’m a guy! My name’s Alunar! I’m- psh, whatever man. Lily: I literally tried to make my character as feminine as possible. ‘Cause I realized… I kinda did the opposite [Laughs] Yeah, I’m a Dragonborn Barbarian. I used to be a part of a clan. And I built my way up to being the leader of that clan. And then I decided to dip, to do greater good elsewhere. I rage sometimes, but that’s a barbarian thing right?[Josh Whispers] Yes. Yes, so when I rage, I… It’s very hard to stop me from doing what I intend to do.I follow through no matter what gets in my way. Sometimes I’ll listen to my friends when I’m raging, if they call me Al, but that’s about it. Not funny, please [Laughs] What??Scarra: Nothing. Thank you. [Laughs again]Oh yeah-yeah! I have glasses by the way. Scarra: Uh…Toast: Okay…Lily: Yeah… In case anyone missed that, and a really great, big, long sword… In case anyone also missed that. Scarra: Uhmm… Do your friends ever call you “Big Al”? [Laughter]Is-is that okay? I do very much enjoy being called Big Al. [Laughter] So I’m okay with that. Uh, but yeah, the clan I left behind for the greater good, I wish to honor them and the reason that I’m on this quest is because people from my clan knew the dwarf. And we wanna help him out.[Everyone: “Hmmm”] So it’s my first step into the world. Scarra: How noble.Thank you. Thank you very much. Scarra: …”Big Al”Toast: Alright, Lily, what’s your motivation? Lily: Because I was living within like nobility for so much, those people all sucked up to me. And I got tired of that, and I want to see if I can do the same for the outside world, pretty much. Like prove that I can make a name out of myself,similar to Fed as well. Poki: Are you like a succubus?Maybe! Poki: Ohhhh!I’m thinking about it, I really, uhm, we should strive to be things we can’t be in real life. Scarra: What!? [Laughter] I feel like a character trait of mine would be: ‘attracted to Lily’. Mark: That’s not a character trait, that’s a choice.Josh: Yeah, that’s a choice. Lily: We can role-play it in the future. But we should make it like…natural. Poki: That’s definitely not my intentions whatsoever. Josh: Yeah, you guys are all meeting for the first time okay? Now that we know what our characters are you guys want to talk, uh you know, introduce yourselves as your characters now! Woo, this is the fun part! So you guys are all in this wagon. There’s not a lot of space. I don’t know… [Laughter] Alright… Are any of y’all social? Is any of your characters social? Lily: So I’m sitting in the wagon. I’m all prim and proper. Viviana (Lily): Not a very talkative bunch are we? Viviana (Lily): Well, I’m Viviana, where are you all from? Ugg (Toast): HI VIVIANA! [Everyone Laughs] Fed: I-I can’t play this game! [The laughter continues] Josh: Try not to laugh too hard to not- hurt people’s feelings. Poki: That was surprisingly good though! Let’s try this again.Lily: Okay. Viviana (Lily): [Mutters under her breath] Oh great, a stupid Orc… Oh hello! What about the rest of you, do you guys have mouths? Levi (Fed): Why does he sound so dumb? Viviana (Lily): Do you have a hoarse throat? Levi: No. Viviana: I this just how you-Levi: This is how I talk, alright? Levi: What’s your problem Vivian?Alunar and Viviana: Viviana. Sorry. Alunar (Poki): [White knight +1] Her name is Viviana. Lily: This role-playing is A+! Okay let’s calm… Alunar (Poki): My name is Alunar, Al for short, but I prefer Alunar for now. [slurp]Viviana (Lily): That’s a cute name. Did you just slurp? Alunar (Poki): Yes.. I’m Dragonborn- [Laughs] Viviana (Lily): I don’t understand the correlation between slurping and Dragonborn. Poki: ‘Cause I’m a lizard, hello!? [Coughs] Alunar: [lizard voice on] ‘Cause I’m a lizard, hello? [Laughter] Viviana (Lily): And what about you, the short little man? Theodore (Scarra): Hello, my name is Theodore. Poki: Oh that’s so cute!Levi: Oh god, we’re fucked! [Laughter] Josh: So, uh, anyways, you guys are all just relaxing-Lily: I’m going to die crying! Poki: I’m already crying! Theodore (Scarra): Excuse me! I’m older than all of you, put together! Minus maybe the young miss over here. Viviana (Lily): How old are you?Old miss over here. What!? I am a very- I’m very young for my race. That-that’s very insulting to our Elven kind! Alunar (Poki): Please don’t disrespect m’lady. Viviana (Lily): Thank you so much – what’s your name again? Alunar. Lily: Aluwar?Alunar. Alun- Alunar. Yes. Levi (Fed): [Whispers] Such a bunch’a fucking weirdos.. Josh: Alrighty… So you guys should decide on like how you guys are sitting in the wagon for example who’s driving it and like basically the marching order. Toast: I’ll be, uh, in the front. Okay, so you’re driving the the wagon. Oh man you trust this guy to drive? Scarra: No!Poki: Yeah can we not? Fed: Wait I feel like it’s perfect then. Well…I’m sure that even you can- No…our- our scout… Poki: Why don’t we have him drive?Yeah…with…good eyes… …Right? Levi (Fed): Don’t talk to me. Viviana (Lily): What was your name again? We didn’t quite catch it. My name’s Levi. What was that? Levi. What? Levi! Alunar (Poki): Levi. His, name is Levi.Viviana (Lily): Levi. Oh alright, how interesting. Theodore (Scarra): Hello Levi! You seem like you’re a very- Levi (Fed): Can someone tell the wizard to shut the fuck up? His voice irritates me. Theodore (Scarra): I can tell we’re gonna have a good time here. [Horse whinnies] Anyways So yeah again, how do you guys want to be like sat in the party, like who is driving, who is on the sides? Who wants to sit in the back?Lily: Levi is driving. Levi is driving, okay. Scarra: I have, I have low intelligence. And I don’t have any perception so I don’t want to be anywhere on the lookout position. I want to stay protected in the wagon. Poki: I’ll be in the first…seat thingy.Josh: Okay. Charismatic, friendly. I want to get to know people.Lily: I’ll be in the middle. Okay, alright. You’ve been on the Triboar Trail for about half a day, as you come around a bend you spot two dead horses sprawled about 50 feet ahead of you, blocking your path. Each has several black feathered arrows sticking out of it. The woods press close to the trail here with a steep embankment and dense thickets on either side. What do you guys do?Lily: So the wagon stops? So if you guys are seeing it basically, you guys can stop the wagon, you know… Lily: [to Fed] What do you do? ‘Cause you’re…driving. Levi (Fed): There’s two saddles on the horses we should check for materials. Viviana (Lily): What if this is an ambush? Levi (Fed): Fuck it we just started…there’s no way the game has…an ambush this- Lily: You’re metagaming! You’re actually metagaming! Josh: The definition of meta-gaming!Scarra: Oh my god! Mark: So that’s a no-no! Fed: Uh…do they have anything on them? Roll a perception check. Okay, so this is our first check of the game session so you can take your D20 and you’re gonna roll it, right, and then you’re gonna add your perception bonus to that roll. Lily: What is that?Toast: That’s a four. Four plus.. what’s that…two.That’s a six. So it’s a six. You see horses, there may be bags on them. Who knows, but you can’t see and you can’t see anything more closer than that. Poki: So is it like if you rolled higher, you would’ve given us more information?Josh: Maybe. Lily: Yes, maybe, but we don’t know that.But everything depends on what you roll. Josh: Also, by the way, one way DMs can reward you guys for being in character and stuff is that I can give you something called “Inspiration” and then Inspiration lets you- roll with advantage. So what that means is you need to roll twice and you take the higher number. Theodore (Scarra): So you’re saying there’s a chance there’s invaders nearby. Lily: You’re meta-gaming again!Josh: I don’t exist! I don’t exist to you. Lily: I call out from inside the wagon…carriage- whatever. Viviana (Lily): Do you see anything? Uh, Levy, Lev- I don’t remember your name.Levi (Fed): It’s Levi. Okay whatever your name is, I don’t really care.Levi (Fed): and I think I do see something, I think I do see something. Shall we check it out, boys? Viviana (Lily): Alright then… Scarra: I walk…five feet away- ten feet away from the wagon. Toast: Like…away from the side to? Or towards the side? Scarra: Can I walk five feet away from them? Ten feet away from them? Josh: You’re in the wagon. Poki: Shouldn’t we stop the wagon?Josh: Are you going to stop the wagon? Lily: The wagon hasn’t stopped yet. Wait, I’m going to call it. Viviana (Lily): Stop the wagon, Levi.Levi (Fed): Why? Theodore (Scarra): I agree. Alunar (Poki): So we can check out the horses. Viviana (Lily): What if someone is injured?We should go and help them. Levi (Fed): Alright, I’ll stop it..I’ll stop it…I’ll stop it….okay?I’ll stop it… [horse whinnies] Josh: Alright, you guys stop the wagon and like I said it’s about 50 feet ahead of you at this point. Poki: Does anyone wanna go check it out? Ugg (Toast): OH, I CAN CHECK IT OUT! [Laughter] Toast: I can’t fucking do this.. Alunar (Poki): Alright Ugg, let’s go. Viviana (Lily): Yes, yes.. let the Orc check it out. He offered. Alunar (Poki): Does anyone else want to come with us? I think at least two should stay with the wagon. Viviana (Lily): I’ll stay behind at the wagon, I’m a very dainty fair lady.Levi (Fed): I will go with the Orc. Theodore (Scarra): I’ll stay too, but before I go I’ll cast Light on Ugg’s hammer. [holy music plays]Josh: Alright, in the broad daylight.Lily: Wait, is it dark? [Laughter] Scarra: It’s not dark!?Poki: I thought it was dark too, I won’t lie. Lily: Well I thought it was day. Josh: It was daytime. You guys have been at this half a day. You set out in the morning, it’s like mid-afternoon now. It’s not it’s not super dark. But you know, his hammer now is very shiny. Ugg (Toast): OH, THANK YOU! IT PRETTY! Lily: I can’t do this… Alunar (Poki): Levi, Theodore, I think at least one of you should stay with m’lady. Viviana (Lily): I will stay behind.Levi (Fed): I’ll protect m’lady. [Fed unsheathes the wrist blade]Viviana (Lily): Oh…alright- thank you? Alright, let’s go boys. So let me get this straight- you’re staying, you’re staying, and you’re also staying? Theodore (Scarra): I’m staying too. Poki: What? You just said you were going? Scarra: I casted Light on his thing. Poki: I thought you said I will go with you,and I will also cast Light. Lily: No, no. He’s staying. Ugg (Toast): IT OKAY. I’M BRAVE BOY. I go, I rush in. Poki: Like, can us three go then? Josh: Who’s us three? You three?Poki: Yeah, us three. Lily:But you just said you won’t be going.Fed: I’m staying and protecting her. Scarra: So just those two I guess.Poki: But then why- Lily: No no no. He’s gonna stay, you’re staying- you two are going. You guys should do this in character by the way. Viviana (Lily): Alright, the Orc and the the weird Dragon Al…Al- whatever. Go. And I will stay with the little man and the…cloaked man.Alunar (Poki): Let’s go Ugg. Ugg (Toast): OKAY Theodore (Scarra): Goodbye weird Al. Goodbye Ugg. Josh: Ugg and Al are walking over to the saddlebags you guys see now closely that the horses are in fact very dead and they have a- Toast: Wait wait- does my character have a concept of death, because he was raised in a swamp. Josh: I’m pretty sure you know what death is considering, like, I don’t know you’ve probably hunted to survive in a swamp.I’m assuming. The horses are very dead and you see some saddlebags nearby, do you guys wish to inspect them? Can we inspect the horses AND the saddlebags? So in in the horses you see a bunch of black feathered arrows inside the horses- so they’ve been shot to death basically. You see some saddlebags. And as you guys are looking closer at the saddlebags and find that in fact, they were looted and nearby There’s a…what looks like a leather map case. Poki: …Can you inspect the leather map case? Josh: Okay, so you guys open it up… …and you find absolutely nothing. It’s been looted. It’s gone. And four goblins pop out from the sides to ambush you guys! Find out next episode to see what happens. Woo!